Polarities show up every day in our work and person lives. As we learn to manage these polarities, we create opportunities for broadening perspectives and communicating more effectively. In this practical example, we begin with a frustrated team-member:

“ My goodness! How many more eyes do they think are needed only to create this project plan?!

The ‘more and they’ signal that things are going much too slowly for this person in our story here. There is irritation about ‘others’ who make things unnecessarily complicated. The intended cross-departmental collaboration is losing momentum.

In the meantime…

“There they go again. Of course it’s not that simple!”

This signals that someone in that same collaboration has the idea that ‘the others’ are taking it far too easy. There is frustration about how ‘they’ are, again, taking shortcuts and so put the project at risk.

This tension surfaces in the next steering group meeting.

“What is the idea, sponsor? Are we going for speed or are we just letting everyone join in endlessly? Are we going for quality this time or are we blindly heading into a wall, again?”

So, what do you do as a sponsor?

A few possible routes.

The fire blanket. “Folks, that’s not how we want to be with each other. I would suggest reaching out to each other more often. Also, I think we said from the beginning that we would be constructive. So let’s focus on the content and not get stuck in complaining about each other.”

Sounds good. However… there is also a big chance that the conflict will go further, but now underground.

Either / Or. “These are fair questions. I propose that we speed up a bit in the next two months and take calculated risks in the form of additional re-work. OK?”

This sponsor does provide clarity. He cannot resist the temptation to solve this juice problem presented to him. However, the effect can also be that, going forward, the team will look too much to the sponsor for guidance. Moreover, this kind of reaction can lead to one or the other side simply waiting until it is his or her next turn, only to go in extra hard. The sponsor now unconsciously contributes to the different sides continuing to communicate perfectly past each other, which increases the tension and the ‘othering’ in a negative way. We swing from one drama to the next.

Both / And “What I understand from your questions is that you experience tensions in the collaboration. For example, between speed and inclusion and also between decisiveness and quality. I also think I hear that you expect me to choose between one or the other in both cases. Is that correct?  I would like to propose that we do not approach these tensions as problems that we have to solve, as if it were an either-or. In my opinion, they are examples of inherent tensions in our collaboration that we have to learn to navigate together – in a both-and way. I propose that we make time for this together this week. I have a concrete idea for a working session of a few hours to explore this together, to listen to each other and to take practical steps forward together.”

This is an intervention by a sponsor who has become acquainted with Polarity Management. She recognizes the ‘othering’ in both directions and the associated either-or framing. She is able to recognize so-called polarities and to name them positively as interdependent sides that need each other to be successful over time. In the example, it is the polarity speed & inclusion and the polarity decisiveness & quality. For this sponsor, such a polarity forms one whole, just as breathing is the natural interplay between both inhaling and exhaling. Because she has worked with a polarity mapping exercise before, she is also able to invite those involved for a short work session to explore their inherent tensions in a social and safe process and make them productive.

Want to know more about how you can use polarity management to quickly make inherent tensions in your collaborations discussable and productive? For example, watch this video by my colleague Jennifer Garvey Berger or contact us. Personally, I am currently helping to apply Polarity Management in collaborations between government organizations, contractors, universities and engineering firms.

Comments welcome!